hoarr

GPOYW - STOP ASKING Edition

I’ve been told that I don’t put up photos of myself anymore.

Here you go.

Hey, remember that one time in the early 2000’s where I had long hair and did an ad for Lane Bryant?

Me neither.

Was just sent this photo from a party I was at during Halloween weekend — so, so goofy.

Me thinks I didn’t get my arms big enough.

GPOYW - Hulkamania is Running Wild Edition

Even though I’ve been working out for my Halloween costume, I had a friend airbrush some makeup onto my arms to define my biceps.  She also made sure to make me look all veiny and roided out as well.  During the application process, she couldn’t stop giggling over the fact that I described Hulk Hogan’s skintone as a “burnt hotdog color”. 

Thankfully, I didn’t overdo the fake tan and achieve said look.

Halloween 2011 - Hulk Hogan and Hollywood Hogan

Here you are!

I have a bunch of professional shots taken of me, so expect much better photos to surface here soon!

Even though I cannot grow out the Hulk Hogan mustache due to genetics, I made sure to not shave so that I could get his scruffy beard for his 2003 WWE look.

Tomorrow, I dye the beard and dye the hair to platinum blonde.

I just came across this photo on my Facebook page and had a long laugh at the absurdity contained within.

Verrrrry drunk on Halloween 2008

GPOYW — Halloween 2011 Preview Edition

Last weekend, I ended up getting my hands on the pair of Hulk Hogan wrestling tights that a friend of mine made for me.  From this point on, I just need to get a handful of other props/accessories lined up, and I’ll be good to go*!

I’m also considering working on a second nWo-style Hogan costume as well.  How hard could it be to airbrush lightning bolts into black tights??  Also, wearing a cup is damn uncomfortable.

*steroid injections also required

[Via droptoehold]

GPOYW - 2002 Senior Prom Edition

Yikes.

Here I am (second from the left) with one of my high school sweethearts.  Melba was a nice girl and the daughter of a strict Baptist preacher who I dated for a bit during my senior year.  It was a fun relationship as she was completely naive and innocent about the world of dating, so I had no real pressure put on me whenever I took her out.  She laughed at my stupidity all while being a ridiculously sweet human being through and through.

She would end up dumping me after graduation because she felt like her and I were on two different paths in life (hers with Jesus), but I knew that the pressure truly came from her father not liking me at all.  What was there NOT to like?!  Back then, I was a goddamn saint!

This is what I look like whenever I get home and mop off all of that caked on grease-paint.

I had a Gene Simmons lookalike to hang out with, and we made a bunch of people laugh downtown.  I only wish I had more of a notice about this thing today than three days*.

*spandex + beer gut can be a bit unnerving